In the perpetual cycle of family life and career demands, mothers frequently place themselves at the bottom of their to-do lists. Yet, self-care is critical—it’s the backbone that supports the well-being of the entire family. L.R. Knost, an international best-selling author, once said, “Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean ‘me first;’ it means ‘me too.’”
Statistics show that mothers spend, on average, almost twice as much time on household chores and childcare compared to fathers. This can translate to 28 hours a week on domestic tasks for mothers, versus 16 hours for fathers—a disparity that highlights the need for balance and self-care among mothers.
Julia, a mother of two, describes her typical weekday: “From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed, I’m on the move. Between getting the kids ready for school, working a full-time job, cooking, cleaning, and bedtime routines, there’s barely a moment left for myself.” Like Julia, many mothers are searching for that elusive balance.
Emotional Health: Cultivating Inner Peace
Mindful Moments: Engaging in mindfulness can be a sanctuary for mothers, offering respite from the 14-hour average workday that combines professional and domestic duties.
Expressive Writing: A journal can be a valuable tool for processing the emotional labor inherent in the extra time mothers invest in parenting and household tasks compared to fathers. Maria, a mother and entrepreneur, finds solace in journaling. “It’s my therapy,” she says. “Writing down my thoughts helps me unwind and process the day’s events. It’s something I do for me.” Journaling doesn’t have to be long. Find a beautiful notebook, and start writing down your thoughts and ideas, whether it’s an essay or just one sentence.
Social Support: Connecting with others who understand the disparity in time spent can provide emotional relief and practical strategies to navigate these challenges.
Balancing Family and Career: The Juggling Act
Betty Friedan reminded us, “You can have it all, just not all at once.” Unlike many men, women may feel guilty for wanting to focus on their careers.
Boundary Setting: As mothers manage both career and the additional 12 hours weekly spent on household tasks over fathers, setting clear boundaries becomes essential for mental well-being and productivity.
Intentional Presence: Time with family is precious, especially considering the limited personal time mothers often have. Making the most of these interactions is key to building strong family bonds.
Task Sharing: Sharing household responsibilities can help address the imbalance where mothers are seen to spend more time on domestic chores than fathers, easing the pressure on mothers to manage it all alone.
Self-care: Not Selfish, but Essential
Prioritizing Personal Time: Finding time for oneself is often challenging, but with mothers dedicating significant hours to chores and childcare, it’s a crucial aspect of self-maintenance. Mothers should find their own interests and things that they (not their kids) enjoy the most—whether it’s painting, exercising, shopping, visiting a spa, reading, or cooking—and carve out time to do it. “Once a week, I leave my husband with the kids and have a ‘me’ day. It’s not much, but it recharges me to be a better mom,” shares Zoe, illustrating the power of taking regular breaks for personal rejuvenation.
Seeking Assistance: Overcoming the stigma of asking for help can alleviate the unequal distribution of household labor, providing mothers with much-needed relief.
Pursuing Passions: Maintaining personal interests is vital for mental health, especially when the bulk of one’s time is consumed by caregiving and chores.
Mothers are often the unsung heroes, managing both the visible and invisible tasks of family life. While they contribute an estimated 40% more to household and childcare activities than fathers, it’s vital to remember the importance of self-care. Balancing isn’t just about equalizing the division of labor but also about ensuring that mothers’ well-being is prioritized. It’s about sustaining the ability to nurture others while also nourishing oneself. In this complex juggling act, self-care emerges not as an option, but as a fundamental necessity.
So, to all the mothers reading this: It’s time to place yourself higher on your priority list. Your health, both physical and emotional, is the cornerstone of the family’s happiness and success. And remember, asking for help, setting boundaries, and taking time for yourself doesn’t make you any less of a mother; it makes you a healthier, happier one.