PRIORITIZING SAFETY
So, why do we are saying issues like, “Love your self” and “Embrace your self” when it’s typically deeper than that and way more complicated? The overarching resolution is just not elevated self-love and optimistic affirmations; we are able to equip ourselves with these expertise, which can assist at occasions, however this isn’t the one path to therapeutic. In reality, it could possibly really feel invalidating to skip feeling secure and go straight to practising self-love. I imagine that prioritizing feeling secure in our our bodies have to be the precedent. Working towards secure contact with others and ourselves is essential. Being revered, in addition to sustaining bodily boundaries when contact is just not needed can also be a necessity.
For individuals who have skilled sexual abuse, intimacy can really feel difficult. It may well take time to really feel secure, so having others be affected person with us, in addition to being affected person with ourselves, issues. When therapeutic from trauma like sexual abuse, every particular person’s path is individually their very own. There’s a notable hyperlink between sexual abuse and physique picture, as a survivor could really feel unworthy of their physique or as if their physique doesn’t belong to themselves. Secure contact, as soon as once more, is required — whether or not that be a easy hug from a buddy or being extra intimate with a companion. Pleasure can really feel complicated to survivors as properly. There could also be a plethora of confusion, nervousness, or worry accompanying this aspect of many individuals’s lives. Security have to be the inspiration — in any other case, we could find yourself repeating trauma via re-triggering ourselves. Security can also be generally referred to as the bottom basis of Maslow’s hierarchy of wants; we can’t attain the opposite ranges of self-care or physique confidence if our our bodies are in a relentless state of over-arousal and worry.