As Lieberman beforehand talked about, dopamine is what provides us ardour. Passionate love, particularly, is a dopaminergic expertise. It is a fantastic factor, however it would not final perpetually—and that is OK. “On common, it lasts about 12 months, after which it doesn’t matter what we do, it begins to fade,” Lieberman says. “Lots of people make the error of complicated the top of passionate love with the top of the connection, and so they say, ‘Oh my God, I’ve fallen out of affection with this individual. I would like to search out another person.'” Then they hop aboard what’s generally known as the “hedonic treadmill,” the place they’re consistently looking for passionate love.
“That is not a recipe for happiness,” provides Lieberman. See, passionate love would not precisely fade. It simply transforms into one thing else: companionate love. “It isn’t a dopaminergic thrill of pleasure and anticipation,” says Lieberman. “It is extra of a here-and-now phenomenon of achievement, satisfaction, and contentment. It is simply that deep feeling of being glad and content material with somebody whose life is intertwined with your personal, and that they’ve at all times obtained your again. And in some methods, that is a extra fulfilling type of love than the [intensity] of passionate love.”
Understanding how passionate love shifts over time is essential for a wholesome, profitable relationship; on the flip aspect, at all times chasing the dopamine that comes with passionate love will not end in true companionship.