Tuesday, October 3, 2023
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The Tragedy & Liberation of Demise

By Leo Babauta

Final week, my brother was hit by an unimaginable tragedy: he misplaced his 3-month-old child Tyler.

I’m nonetheless in shock and heartbreak, coming to phrases with it. My coronary heart is damaged for him, for all of our household, and for this horrible loss.

I didn’t know Tyler, however as I start to course of this loss, I begin to really feel the lack of the long run we gained’t get to have collectively. Taking part in collectively, studying to him, driving bikes, throwing a ball round, having uncle-nephew talks out in nature. Celebrating his victories and his life. I mourn the nephew I didn’t get to have.

And naturally, it makes me admire the nephews and neices I do have. I’ve been considering of all of them, grateful that I’ve gotten so many good moments with all of them. Tyler can be in my coronary heart every time I get the present of one other second with a liked one.

This sudden loss has gotten me to face my very own demise this week. I do know it’s coming, simply not when. I not often give it some thought, as a result of life is so in-my-face, however it’s there, ready. Tyler’s demise is such a stark reminder that we by no means know the way a lot time we now have left.

I’ve been considering this quote from a revered Zen trainer:

“From the angle of many knowledge traditions demise is seen as the final word second for the entire liberation of the thoughts from all entanglements, all sorrows and all separateness.” ~Joan Halifax

And there’s something liberating about this for me.

After I die, I’ll now not think about myself as separate from the world.

I’ll now not think about that I’m in some way insufficient. Nor fear about all of the fears that come from that concept of inadequacy.

For the time being of demise, I’ll abruptly now not attempt to management others, or burden myself with my judgments of others.

That is indeniable. And if it’s true … why can’t I simply let go of these issues proper now? Why waste time with attempting to regulate or decide others, with worrying about whether or not I’m insufficient, with insisting on my separation from the whole lot else? All of it takes a lot vitality.

Why not simply free myself of these items immediately, as a substitute of ready for the second of demise?

After I’ve been considering demise this week … this liberation has really occurred for me.

What a second of full freedom and joyfulness!

Thanks Tyler. I really like you and can maintain you in my coronary heart.


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