“I Simply Can’t Pray”
John appeared out the window. Streetlamps and home windows in neighboring houses lit the darkness of the approaching night time. His gaze dropped to the desk earlier than him. There, just a few inches earlier than his hand, lay the Bible. Usually right now, he learn from it for ten to fifteen minutes. Tonight, nothing in him wished to take action.
He thought again to the start of the day. For months now, he had attended day by day Mass earlier than work. This morning, he had barely gotten himself to church and had paid little consideration to the Mass, simply wanting it to finish.
Then John recalled the commute residence from work. Normally, he would play a Rosary app as he drove. However at the present time the identical sample held: he had felt no want to hope the Rosary and had listened to music as a substitute.
Seated at his desk within the silence of his room, John grew troubled. Days like at present had been changing into extra frequent. He was dropping one thing. One thing needed to change.
Per week later:
John opened the gate, approached the rectory, rang, and waited. A minute later, the door opened, and Father Reed welcomed him. John returned his greeting, crossed the vestibule, and entered the parlor, the place he and Father Reed all the time met. They sat by the home windows, their chairs dealing with one another. The afternoon solar stuffed the room, and subdued sounds of visitors created a quiet background. As normal, when he met Father Reed, John felt his coronary heart raise.
For a couple of minutes, they spoke of John’s household, his spouse, Jennie, and their youngsters. Then Father Reed supplied a prayer. When he completed, he settled in his chair, smiled warmly, and ready to hear. This was John’s cue to talk.
For a second, John gazed at Father Reed. His frailty was evident, and he appeared all of his seventy-five years. However his coronary heart had not modified. His bodily sufferings had deepened the goodness and take care of others that had lengthy characterised his priesthood.
“After I final got here, 4 weeks in the past,” John started, “I used to be pleased with my prayer. It appeared to be rising, and I felt that I used to be rising nearer to God. Every day Mass, after I might get to it, made an actual distinction within the day. In some way, it felt alive. The readings spoke to me, and I sensed the Lord’s presence after I acquired Communion. The Mass helped me to be extra affected person at work, a greater husband and father, and . . . simply happier. I preferred listening to the Rosary app after I drove residence from work, and I preferred my prayer on the finish of the day, the time I spent studying the Bible and making my examen. This prayer introduced Jennie and me nearer, and we each cherished it.”
“Sure, I keep in mind you telling me about this,” mentioned Father Reed.
“However now I really feel like I simply can’t pray. It’s irritating. I don’t know what’s happening, and I don’t prefer it.”
“Are you able to inform me extra about what’s occurring?” Father Reed requested.
“Nicely, I don’t really feel God’s closeness in the identical means. I’m going to day by day Mass as a result of I wish to be devoted, nevertheless it doesn’t energize me the way in which it used to. I attempt to pray the Mass, however my thoughts wanders, and I really feel dangerous about that. And to be sincere, I don’t actually wish to pray the Rosary throughout the commute. Some days I don’t. I pray earlier than retiring, nevertheless it’s merely to get it accomplished. I’m drained, and what I actually need is to go to mattress and sleep.” John smiled a bit wanly, “Not a really fairly image, is it?”
“What are your days like now?” Father Reed requested.
“That’s a great query,” John answered. “The times are full. Work has been busy. Jennie has had the flu not too long ago, and she or he has wanted further assist with the youngsters. Really, now that I speak about it, life has been just about nonstop for a number of weeks.” He paused and checked out Father Reed. “To be actually sincere, although,” he mentioned sheepishly, “it isn’t simply that. Soccer season has began, and I’ve been staying up at night time watching the video games, even reruns when there is no such thing as a recreation that night. Then I watch different issues, or I’m going on the cellphone. Typically it’s fairly late earlier than I get to mattress.”
“John, a number of instances now you’ve talked about being drained, eager to sleep, and attending to mattress at night time. How is your power as of late?” Father Reed requested.
“Not good. I’m all the time drained. Issues irritate me extra simply, and the whole lot weighs extra. Additionally, after I don’t get sufficient sleep, I don’t train. And after I don’t train, I don’t eat correctly both.”
“Do you suppose that your prayer, your tiredness, and the calls for in your power are in any means linked?”
John smiled wryly and mentioned, “It appears fairly apparent, doesn’t it? Sure, I’m positive that they’re.”
“Are you able to consider anything that has modified in latest weeks that may make prayer more durable?”
John mirrored for a second. “No, not likely,” he mentioned, “I feel it comes right down to being extra drained.”
“If that’s so, what do you suppose would possibly enable you to pray higher?”
John laughed. “You don’t miss a lot, do you? If I received extra sleep at night time, it will assist.”
“That sounds proper to me,” Father Reed mentioned, “and I don’t suppose we must always assume deeper issues till we eradicate this one. The physique is vital in prayer, and correct care of it helps an important deal within the religious life. In a means, it’s encouraging that there is no such thing as a significant issue in your relationship with the Lord and your prayer. Most certainly, you simply want a greater rhythm of life. As a result of work and household are making extra calls for now, managing your time is much more vital.”
John smiled. “I’ll give it a attempt,” he mentioned, “and I’ll let you understand how it goes.”
Sure, the religious life is less complicated after we take clever care of the physique. For those who battle within the religious life, ask first: How is my bodily power? Do I get sufficient sleep? Do I train sufficiently? Does my weight loss plan maintain my power? If the solutions are optimistic, you might presume that religious struggles, do you have to expertise them, come up from a distinct trigger. However it’s clever to ask these questions earlier than you presume this.
Typically, life merely makes calls for on our power. If John’s tempo at work will increase nonetheless extra, if his spouse’s sickness grows extra severe and long-lasting, if he himself faces bodily points, if the youngsters’s wants improve, and the like, then his power for prayer might be much less. God by no means asks the unattainable! John, or any considered one of us in comparable circumstances, can solely do our greatest to take care of our power. Such expenditures of power, accepted out of affection for our vocation—on this case, marriage and fatherhood—convey us nearer to God, although our prayer could also be extra drained.
Even in such conditions, nevertheless, God asks us to take care of the physique as greatest we are able to. And it will bless our prayer.
Saint Teresa of Avila writes, “Take care, then, of the physique for the love of God, as a result of at many instances the physique should serve the soul.” Handle the physique—why? For what purpose? “For the love of God.” The soul wants the physique. Prudent care of the physique resolves many struggles within the religious life.
Such as you, I’ve a day by day rhythm of prayer. I selected it, and I adhere to it as a result of I do know its advantages. However some days—and I doubt I’m alone on this!—I really feel that “at present, I simply can’t do it.” What typically solves that is train. I train, after which I’m prepared to hope. I wish to pray. The issue by no means was lack of want for prayer; it was lack of consideration to a necessity of my bodily humanity.
Years in the past, after I made the Ignatian Non secular Workout routines, the Jesuit who guided my group mentioned, “For many people, having a religious life comes down to at least one factor: attending to mattress on time.” Clever phrases!
In Ignatian phrases, John’s challenge is nonspiritual (that’s, pure, human, bodily) desolation (that’s, heaviness of coronary heart) brought on by a diminishment of bodily power. The treatment is obvious.
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This text is customized from a chapter in Struggles within the Non secular Life by Fr. Timothy Gallagher, O.M.V. which is offered from Sophia Institute Press.
Artwork for this put up: Cowl and featured picture used with permission.