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“Stay your life for you not for anybody else. Don’t let the worry of being judged, rejected or disliked cease you from being your self.” ~Sonya Parker
On August 4, 2022, I buzzed off my lengthy, thick, luscious hair.
I marched up Sandy Boulevard in Portland, Oregon, walked into Take Pleasure Barbershop, and sat within the chair with essentially the most badass barber. She quelled my last-minute fears and boldly took the clippers to my never-shorter-than-shoulder-length hair.
It was instantaneous liberation.
I had lastly labored up the braveness to take action after 4 years of inner debate and fear, which went one thing like: What’s going to folks suppose? Will folks suppose I’m a person? Will folks deal with me in a different way? What if I’m really ugly and my ugliness shall be revealed? What if my head is oddly formed? Will I’ve to put on a bunch of make-up?
My worries and ideas had been clearly steeped deep in societal conditioning about magnificence and femininity. We’re informed that lengthy hair is female and delightful. We’re informed that younger ladies aren’t alleged to have brief hair. We’re informed that in case you are a girl with brief hair, you’ll want to put on make-up and jewellery so that you look female.
However I lastly stopped all of the considering, broke free from these norms, and I simply did it. I stated, “Off with the hair!”
And now I really feel free-er, sexier, and prettier.
I really feel extra like me.
It’s as if I shed layers that had been really hiding my true essence. My true essence as an adventurous, empathic, sensual being who generally feels smooth and tender, and different occasions feels daring and badass. My true essence as somebody who’s cautious of guidelines and authority.
It’s additionally as if I shed layers of my ego. As a result of whether or not I wish to admit it or not, my hair was a major piece of my id as a girl. Hair is an professional communicator, with the power to ship so many messages by means of a single look. Hair communicates gender, sexuality, wealth, age, well being, and elements of our character.
Now that I’ve shed my lengthy hair, I believe the one a part of me that’s nonetheless communicated by way of my hair is my character. For one can now not have a look at me and shortly deduce my gender, sexuality, wealth, age, or well being. (I do have very toned muscular tissues and glowing pores and skin, so folks ought to be capable of make an assumption about my well being, however some folks solely see the brief hair and assume I’ve most cancers).
What’s communicated boldly is that I create and stay by my very own guidelines. And if folks know one factor about me, THAT is precisely what I would like them to know.
My buzzed hair additionally lends an aura, as folks marvel about all of these different little verify containers (gender, wealth, age, and so forth.) which can be normally communicated by way of hair.
Whereas I did shed some layers of my ego, my buzzed head additionally makes a fairly sturdy assertion, and in full transparency, I get a number of consideration. This consideration is available in all kinds.
Typically it’s “Excuse me sir…oh! I imply ma’am.”
Typically it’s “It’s good to put on lipstick to look extra female.” (Who stated I needed to look extra female?!)
Different occasions it’s “Omg, you’re so lovely” or “I LOVE your hair.”
Typically I get free guac.
I get a number of smiles from passersby on the sidewalk.
I get a number of lingering seems to be on the publish workplace, the espresso store, and the dance ground.
And whereas I do like to be referred to as lovely (who doesn’t?!), I don’t connect myself to the reward or the criticism as a result of I’ve determined for myself that I’m sturdy, radiant, and delightful, from the within out. I now not care if folks suppose I look masculine or female, ugly, or lovely. I don’t care if folks in Idaho suppose I’ve most cancers. I don’t care if folks suppose I appear to be a thin boy with out make-up on. (What’s unsuitable with trying like a thin boy?!)
This stage of not caring, of being so assured in who I’m, is the last word freedom.
Plus, I do know that when folks react somehow, it’s not actually about me and my hair. Their response implies that I activated one thing inside them. I activated their need to be free and to cease following the principles that another person laid out for them.
In the very best circumstances, I supply others slightly permission slip to step into their very own boldness. Which is certainly one of my favourite elements of buzzed life—when ladies inform me I’ve impressed them to buzz their lengthy hair! That they had been so nervous about what folks would suppose, however after seeing me do it, they now have the braveness too. That’s highly effective.
So whereas the coiffure of 1 lady might appear to be a easy and insignificant factor, it really performs a small however necessary function within the liberation and empowerment of girls.
For when a girl has the braveness to push again towards magnificence requirements, that braveness is ignited, and he or she additionally develops the braveness to decide on freedom in different sides of her life as properly.
For me, that has regarded like extra sexual freedom—making me extra playful in mattress and bolder in sharing my wishes—and extra confidence in all areas of my life.
Buzzing my hair has additionally created extra time in my life, as I spend much less time preparing. It’s created extra psychological area, as I now not spend inordinate quantities of time enthusiastic about how one can type my hair, when to scrub it, and whether or not or to not get it highlighted.
It has additionally freed up extra money as a result of I now not spend a whole lot of {dollars} on highlights and cuts. My fiancé buzzes my hair at residence and, often, I bleach it myself.
It’s additionally led to freedom in how I gown. Typically I like to decorate to precise my femininity. Different occasions, I gown to precise my masculinity. As somebody who was deeply insecure about her tomboy-ish-ness and lack of need to put on make-up, I’ve reclaimed the masculine elements of me with delight, which has been an integral a part of my therapeutic and enlargement journey.
It has additionally deepened my sensuality. Within the bathe, the water massages my head extra intimately. On a summer season day, the solar kisses me deeply. On a breezy morning, the wind and I dance a swish dance. On the dance ground, the softness of my fiancé’s lips prompts my crown chakra. I really feel much less separation between the world and me. I’m extra built-in. I’m extra conscious of my oneness with the pure world.
Sure, all of this due to my buzzed hair!
So I’ll depart you with a number of parting phrases of knowledge:
1. Persons are going to speak and have an opinion about you it doesn’t matter what, so that you would possibly as properly do what you need and be who you need.
2. Others’ opinions of you actually have extra to do with them than they do with you, so don’t take stuff too personally and concern your self at first together with your opinion of your self.
3. If you wish to buzz your head, do it. If you happen to don’t prefer it, it’ll develop again. However I guess you’ll prefer it!
So right here’s to taking motion to stay as a extra free, wild, and assured you!
About Teresa Towey
Teresa Towey is a coach and mentor for ladies. She curates particular person and group areas to information ladies in returning to their wild, visceral nature by means of connection to the physique and the earth. She has a particular focus in serving to ladies specific their sensuality and stay in alignment with their menstrual cycles. Try her web site and comply with her on Instagram. DM her to schedule a free 1:1 session!
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