Discovering the Buddha in You

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Candice Tsuei explores what her journey to Buddhism has taught her about attachment, enlightenment, and life.

The primary time I discovered myself on a meditation cushion, seated in entrance of an enormous statue of the Buddha, I requested myself “What’s the objective of my life. That was 10 years in the past, and in the event you had advised me that I sooner or later would change into a Buddhist, I might’ve laughed and rolled my eyes.

I used to be raised in a culturally Buddhist household in Taipei, Taiwan, a culturally Buddhist metropolis. One of many earliest bedtime tales learn to me was Journey to the West, which tells the story of the legendary pilgrimage of Buddhist monk Xuanzang acquiring sacred Buddhist texts. After I was a little bit older, I might go to the temple with my mother and father to ask for blessings from Guanyin. But, I used to be by no means drawn to Buddhism.

When my household moved to Canada, I used to be keen to suit into a brand new tradition. I bear in mind my face turning crimson after I tried to elucidate the burning incense and the shrine at my home to curious classmates. I used to be so determined to look “regular.” On the similar time, my confidence in scientific pondering and fascination with philosophy had been rising. I discovered that monotheistic religions had been simply not my cup of tea. Buddhism was too superstitious for a crucial thinker like me.

All of us have the potential to be a buddha. The one distinction between us and the Buddha is simply that now we have not realized it but.

In my mid-twenties, I had a messy break up and was devastated. In the future whereas scrolling via my Fb feed, I stumbled upon a YouTube video titled “Love and Relationship” by any individual with a shaved head, wearing maroon robes whose identify I may barely pronounce: Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche. A monk speaking about romantic relationships? I used to be immediately intrigued.

The one-hour educating glided by shortly, and I used to be captivated by his perception. Within the subsequent couple of months, I grew to become an avid listener to the teachings of his I may discover on-line. I used to be launched to a complete new means of viewing the world.

It felt like when Neo picks the crimson capsule from Morpheus in The Matrix and his entire world dissolves. These teachings made me notice that Buddhism was greater than the perceived burning incense, vegetarianism, non-violence, and meditation — what lies at its core is the reality of actuality.

As a new child Buddhist, I made a decision that the following motion merchandise on my to-do listing could be to go on some type of yogic meditation retreat. I booked a one-way ticket to Myanmar, one of many few international locations on the earth the place the Buddhist Vipassana heritage continues to be pristinely preserved from 2,500 years in the past via devoted lineages and systematic research. I made an enormous announcement on Instagram that I used to be about to embark on a life-altering, off-the-grid non secular quest. A calmer, happier, and wiser Candice shall be born! Hashtag, self-development. Hashtag, finest model of myself.

Very quickly I discovered that not like my rosy fantasy, life on the retreat middle was extra like an unfancy, strict routine. A bell would wake us up at 3 a.m., and lights went out at 9 p.m. Day by day, we practiced seven hours of sitting meditation and 4 hours of strolling meditation. There was no meals served previous midday, so as an alternative of watching my thoughts within the morning, I might be fantasizing about breakfast. Speaking was not allowed, journaling was discouraged, and there have been no books or web entry. I used to be so bored and determined for some leisure that I learn the labels on all my toiletries no less than 10 occasions. Much more difficult was the chilly bathe and the aged rest room. After every week of constipation, I began to think about an escape plan.

However in the long run, I stayed. I’m glad that I didn’t escape, as a result of if I did, I might’ve missed out on a treasured introspective journey. I didn’t have any imaginative and prescient of rainbow lights, no recollection of any previous lives, nor any blissful out-of-body experiences that I can now humbly brag to associates at dinner events. On some days I had a way of unprecedented serenity and pleasure, however on many others, I used to be merely frantic, attractive, and questioning what on the earth I used to be doing.

Trying again, I really feel that this journey was probably the greatest choices I’ve ever made in my life, however not in the way in which I’d imagined. It didn’t stage me up spiritually (if there even is such a factor), but it surely did open my door to Buddhism. I found it’s extra than simply mental workout routines and summary philosophies — it’s one thing I can observe and expertise straight.

A number of months later, I heard that Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo, a Tibetan Buddhist nun, was going to show in Bir, India. I’d learn her ebook Cave within the Snow and was impressed by how she went from a teenage woman in London’s East Finish to spending twelve years alone meditating in a cave 13,000 toes up within the Himalayas. I knew I needed to meet her.

After a twelve-hour flight adopted by one other twelve-hour bumpy automotive experience, I arrived at Deer Park Institute and had the prospect to speak to Jetsunma. I requested her, “Why do we regularly really feel damage in love?” With a smile, she stated, “Quite a lot of the time, we expect that we’re in love with somebody, when the truth is we’re simply being hooked up to that particular person. Love says, ‘I want you happiness, with or with out me,’ whereas attachment says, ‘I would like you to make me completely happy.’ Don’t fear, although we would not know learn how to love totally but, we will at all times aspire to like higher.” To this present day, I nonetheless ponder on these phrases.

I discovered from that journey that there isn’t any separation between non secular life and mundane life. The very best place to place non secular studying into observe is within the on a regular basis grind. What’s the usage of being tranquil on a mountain high if we lose our shit the second we’re within the trenches? I relocated again to Taipei, discovered a job, and threw myself again into the 9-to-5 hustle. I noticed I didn’t must be wandering round in Kathmandu in colourful garments and strings of crystal beads to show myself as a Buddhist.

So what does it imply to be a Buddhist? In a nutshell, the Buddhist path might be encapsulated by the Buddha’s teachings of the 4 Seals, or 4 traits:

1. All compounded issues are impermanent.
2. All feelings are painful.
3. All phenomena lack inherent existence.
4. Nirvana is past extremes.

As Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche writes in his ebook What Makes You Not A Buddhist, so long as we agree with these 4 seals, we will name ourselves Buddhist. We could not wish to determine as one, however we’re already strolling the identical path as Buddhism.

The Buddha’s teachings will not be solely fashionable, however avant-garde. They’re as relevant to my life in 2022 — one that’s regularly bombarded with telephone notifications, interpersonal calls for, seemingly limitless Covid despairs, and new metaverse developments — as they had been 2,500 years in the past.

Within the educating of the Eight Worldly Dharmas, there are eight worldly considerations that make us weak: hoping to be praised and fearing to be criticized, hoping to achieve and fearing to lose, hoping to be completely happy and fearing to be sad, and hoping to be well-known and fearing to be ignored. Buddha tells us that each time we fall into any considered one of these traps, struggling will ensue.

Buddhism is just not taken with handing us a guidebook to assist us really feel worthy, validated, and dwell fortunately ever after. It goes one step additional by stating a means for us to transcend even the ideas of worthiness, validation, and happiness from the foundation.

Earlier than encountering Buddhism, I didn’t know that I had a thoughts. Even now I nonetheless usually overlook. More often than not when a thought arises, as an alternative of hitting the pause button to look at what is occurring in my thoughts, I voluntarily let it yank me round from one second to a different. To take again the management of thoughts from this unceasing move of distractions, Buddhism prescribes mindfulness.

Within the final decade, mindfulness meditation has change into not only a fashionable buzzword, however has additionally advanced right into a billion-dollar trade. The lengthy listing of advantages mindfulness provides is nothing however eye-dazzling: relieve stress, decrease blood strain, enhance sleep, improve psychological well being, and lots of extra. Whereas all these advantages are nice, from the Buddhist perspective, they’re solely bonuses. One principal cause why Buddhists observe meditation is to create a momentary hole in order that we will quick circuit the senseless, routine reactions and see the truth as it’s — totally with none prejudice or fabrication. The mechanism is nothing unique or mystic. Most significantly, with observe, we will all do it.

For instance, we could get up one morning feeling cheerful, and ten minutes later, we unintentionally pour an excessive amount of milk in our morning espresso. Earlier than the tinge of annoyance arises and crops the seed for full-blown anger, we merely word the rise of this annoyance. We don’t entangle with it, don’t choose it, and don’t suppress it. Because the Zen trainer Shunryu Suzuki would say, “Depart your entrance door and your again door open. Permit your ideas to return and go. Simply don’t serve them tea.”

By meditation, we be taught to see that each one ideas and feelings are basically projections of our thoughts, with out labelling them good or unhealthy. We notice that these projections don’t essentially bind us; it’s the attachment to those projections that bind us. As we deepen our observe, our fixations are revealed and our obsessions undo themselves like a snake uncoiling. Ultimately, we will transcend all our references, judgments, and thoughts video games. That’s what Buddhism calls enlightenment — no halo, nothing woo-woo. We merely get up from our delusions and see the reality as it’s.

Although the idea of enlightenment could seem unfathomable, via observe we will all uncover the enlightened state that has at all times been inside us. Buddhism tells us that each one sentient beings have this innate knowledge known as buddhanature. All of us have the potential to be a buddha. The one distinction between us and the Buddha is simply that now we have not realized it but.

Now, after I take my seat in entrance of the identical Buddha statue I did ten years in the past, I perceive that the entire design of Buddhism was by no means meant to reply my query What’s the objective of life? As a substitute, Buddhism tackles a fair larger query, What’s life?

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