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Diana Chapman — The way to Get Unstuck, Do “The Work,” Take Radical Duty, and Cut back Drama in Your Life (#536)

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“Something apart from a ‘whole-body sure’ is a no.”

Diana Chapman

Diana Chapman is a co-founder of the Acutely aware Management Group and a co-author of the e-book The 15 Commitments of Acutely aware Management. Her ardour is to assist organizational leaders and their groups get rid of drama within the office and past. She has labored with greater than 1,000 CEOs and is a well-respected facilitator for the Younger Presidents Group (YPO), working with their boards and chapters worldwide.

She has been a speaker at TEDx, Aware Management Summit, Knowledge 2.0, Stanford Graduate Faculty of Enterprise, and extra.

When Diana will not be along with her purchasers, she will typically be discovered gardening at her suburban homestead within the Santa Cruz Mountains of California. She lives there along with her husband of over 30 years.

Please get pleasure from!

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The transcript of this episode may be discovered right here. Transcripts of all episodes may be discovered right here.

#536: Diana Chapman — The way to Get Unstuck, Do “The Work,” Take Radical Duty, and Cut back Drama in Your Life

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What was your favourite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know within the feedback.


Wish to hear an episode with Diana’s Acutely aware Management Group Co-Founder? Take heed to my dialog with Jim Dethmer, by which we focus on dealing with aggravating and disturbing ideas, avoiding drama-based battle in shut relationships, turning into emotionally literate, accepting radical accountability, co-commitment over codependence, and rather more.

#434: Jim Dethmer — The way to Shift from Sufferer Consciousness, Cut back Drama, Apply Candor, Be Absolutely Alive, and Extra


Step 1 Obtain one among these two reminder apps
Thoughts Jogger (iOS) Obtain
Randomly RemindMe (Android) Obtain

Step 2 Set a number of reminders from the 15 Commitments Questions checklist beneath
Thoughts Jogger: open the app and click on the plus “+” signal to set a reminder.
Randomly RemindMe: view the tutorial right here.

Step 3 Resolve how typically you need the app to inform you (be sincere!)
Make an settlement with your self that when the reminder pops up, you’ll verify in with your self and contemplate the query along with your head, coronary heart, and physique. You’ll be able to add your identify to the start of every query to personalize it or not. We advocate asking the query between three to seven instances a day.

Step 4 Swap to new query/s
Once you’re naturally integrating the query/s into your each day follow, change the query/s to construct extra consciousness in different areas. Think about beginning with one query for per week, beginning on the high of the checklist, after which exchange it with a query from the subsequent dedication the next week.

15 Commitments Questions

The place are you? Are you above or beneath the road?

Dedication 1
Are you taking 100% accountability proper now? (no extra and no much less) Are you blaming or complaining about anybody or something?

Dedication 2
Are you desirous to be proper about something proper now?

Dedication 3
What feeling/s are you feeling proper now? The place do you’re feeling them in your physique?

Dedication 4
Is there something that you simply’re concealing proper now from anybody? Do you will have any withholds proper now?
Are you keen to inform the whole fact proper now?

Dedication 5
Are you gossiping as an alternative of speaking on to the individual with whom you will have a problem?
Are you asking others to speak their points immediately?

Dedication 6
Do you will have an entire physique sure to what you’re doing proper now? Are there any agreements that aren’t clear, that you simply’ve damaged, or somebody has damaged with you?

Dedication 7
What do you respect proper now? Who do you respect proper now? Think about sharing it with them proper now.

Dedication 8
Are you in your zone of genius, excellence, competence, or incompetence proper now?

Dedication 9
How will you get right into a state of play proper now? How will you relaxation for no less than 30 seconds proper now?

Dedication 10
How may you see the alternative of a narrative you’re believing proper now?

Dedication 11
Are you keen to supply your approval, management, and safety from inside proper now?

Dedication 12
Are you experiencing sufficient of all the pieces proper now, particularly time? Reminder: Maintain your consideration out of the previous and future.

Dedication 13
Are you keen to see everybody and all the pieces in entrance of you as an ally proper now? How are they
completely suited on your studying and progress?

Dedication 14
How will you create a win-for-all proper now with no compromise?

Dedication 15
What do you see as lacking round you? Are you keen to be that proper now?


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Notice from the editor: Timestamps will probably be added shortly.

  • What present from Diana’s brother-in-law turned her from a scrapbooking stay-at-home mother into somebody who conjures up self-made billionaires like Dustin Moskovitz?
  • What’s the Drama Triangle, why is it known as this, and the way would possibly somebody use it?
  • What’s the whole-body sure (or no), and the way can it serve us?
  • Diana guides us via an expertise designed to assist us pay higher consideration to our whole-body sure (or no).
  • A list of observations I made throughout this train, and the way Diana recommends utilizing this stock.
  • How would possibly somebody who mutes their want to have a good time as a approach to shield in opposition to disappointment foster extra playfulness of their life? As an apart, is that this playfulness intrinsic to Diana, or did she should develop it?
  • Diana’s enterprise associate says she has a “black belt in practising candor” and is aware of tips on how to apply loving stress. How did one among her best-remembered voicemail messages illustrate this?
  • How does Diana take into consideration loving stress, and the way does she advocate bringing it right into a relationship?
  • In what approach would possibly you apply loving stress to an individual or group of individuals you don’t know very properly?
  • How does Diana information somebody via the sort of introspection that results in life-changing perspective shifts? In what methods does she use Byron Katie’s “turnarounds” as a useful a part of her toolkit?
  • Diana guides me via a turnaround.
  • An apart: A turnaround isn’t designed to invalidate the inspected perception (as a result of elements of it’d serve a function), however to determine and embrace alternate options.
  • Processing the idea on an mental degree is simply a part of the equation. Right here’s why introducing the somatic into the image is essential, and what Diana suggests to do in case you’re having hassle with this step.
  • Who’s the witness, and the way do they determine into this course of?
  • Strolling the road.
  • What it means to welcome the chance of studying from the expertise (even when it’s not the popular expertise).
  • This isn’t essentially one of the best instrument to make use of in case you’re dysregulated within the second. Listed below are another options.
  • What dangers have Diana and her husband Matt been keen to take with the intention to hold the connection alive and very important, rising, and intimate? Who initiated the primary tough dialog crucial for change to occur?
  • Throughout this time, how did Diana work out who she wanted to be?
  • How can a pair in such a place be ready to navigate these sorts of determination factors collectively?
  • Examples of commitments as outlined in The 15 Commitments of Acutely aware Management.
  • What’s the Thoughts Jogger app, and the way does Diana use it with the commitments?
  • How assessing self-awareness in a hiring interview may be utilized to conditions that don’t have anything to do with a job hunt.
  • Books most gifted.
  • Parting ideas.


“I really feel fairly heartbroken nowadays in regards to the drama that’s taking place amongst us. And I’m truly grateful for the heartbreak as a result of it’s serving to me join extra with love. “
— Diana Chapman

“I’ve a desire for lots extra play and creativity and togetherness and curiosity that I discover after we drop the drama.”
— Diana Chapman

“If we begin to drop into the physique and concentrate, it’s obtained loads of steering for us, as does our feelings, as does our mind.”
— Diana Chapman

“Something apart from a whole-body sure is a no.”
— Diana Chapman

“One of many best, quickest types of play is to magnify the place you’re at. So make wherever you’re at greater.”
— Diana Chapman

“Don’t have any expectations.”
— Diana Chapman


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